Chasing my tail

I feel like a dog chasing his tail over the Sami/Justin tragedy. I swear, I think I'm the only one on both sides. Over and over, my mind keeps saying, it was an accident, Justin didn't mean it; but he was drinking and driving and now Sami's dead; but Justin isn't a monster, he didn't set out to kill her; but she's still dead and it's his fault. Over and over and over, there is no peace.

Justin will serve 2-20 years in a NV prison for what he's done. Good. He needs to learn his lesson.
Sami is dead; it was God's will but so, so hard for all of us down here to grasp.
WHY WHY did it have to happen in a way like this? Did her leaving this earth have to happen at Justin's expense?

I mostly know Justin through this guy, Jeff who was hot after me but I was kind of disgusted by the way he was always dating girls around the age of 15. Really, I always figured it would be Jeff in this situation; I swear to you, he's an alcoholic.

Lacy's right. I need to go scream my head off somewhere.

...

I know the driver who killed Sami.

Justin Speed CCHS Grad 2007
He hung out at Chucks

I just want all this pain to go away

Please

Tonight, I can't sleep.

Another young life was taken from this earth at a time that, to us, seems too soon.
At about 5:30am this morning, Sami Sibis, only age 19, was hit by a drunk driver while on her way to work. She was pronounced dead at the scene.
Sami...I never knew her well. But I remember the first day I met her in PE my Jr year. She was new so Elaine Adams introduced her to me and Amanda. We were chill that year and then she joined Concert Choir my senior year. She has this bright personality that made everyone around her smile. She was such a joy.
It's been over a year also since I lost Haly. I was closer to Haly but Sami's death was just so unexpected. There was no warning, no pre-set illness as with Haly. Just, bam...gone. The lives of her family and all those who knew her have suddenly been thrown off course because of one person's STUPID choice to drink and drive. It's enough to make me want to go hate-edge on someone.
The hole in my heart has grown. I'm 19. Never, ever, did I expect to lose people younger than me so fast before I was even 20.

...I can't write anymore right now